This Standard Scottish Life

Only five days in and Project Frugal is derailing.  This is due to:

• certain members of the Project Frugal team not entering into the true spirit of the endeavor
  • Le Chef! What’s that bottle of cola doing here?  That’s an unnecessary extravagance! What’s wrong with drinking water? I have not drunk any of it as I have self control (well at least a little) unlike some people.
• An emergency which required immediate abandonment of all frugality.
  • OMG! Fraulein Direktor’s bicycle was stolen today.  She was rightly traumatised by the loss of the beloved commuting bike.  Appropriate application of tea and sympathy was administered.  Well, not tea and sympathy but more coffee, rhubarb tart and empire biscuits and sympathy too.
• the threat of inappropriate recycling of leftovers
  • Oh Le Chef,  you didn’t eat your porridge.
  • No but I put it in the pasta sauce.
  • We’re having porridge pasta for tea?  I’m off to the chippie!

Wot we spent on buying food:

£10.70 Total so far for Project Frugal £23.87. Le Chef continues to go his own way on his extravagant lunches.  Full disclosure is not forthcoming.

Wot we bought:

Wot we ate:

• OJ
• Cappuccino (not Le Chef)
• porridge (not Le Chef)
• macchiato empire biscuit as part of tea and sympathy
• salami, jarlsberg and salsa sandwich
• chocolate raisins (free. Thanks Flora)
• decaf coffee (free. thanks work)
• hot chocolate (free. thanks work)
• porridge pasta.  Actually Le Chef he did pull my leg about putting porridge in the pasta sauce.  But the pasta sauce did contain the bean stew that I couldn’t finish last night.  In fact the pasta sauce tasted like chili con carne without the carne bit.  I did ask why we didn’t have it on rice only to learn that there is no rice left.  Shopping list then…
• water and lots of it
• white tea with camomile and cinnamon (free. Thanks Imelda)
• carrot cake (free. Thanks Dr Soapbox)
• tea type tea (Free. Thanks Gussie and Roderick)

Reflections on frugality

I was secretly hoping for a fluffy cheese and tomato omlette for tea tonight but the ongoing saga of the recycled bean stew continues.  Tis getting tastier.

Just buy the ruddy oats!

Wot we spent on buying food:

£0.00 Total so far for Project Frugal £13.17. Le Chef continues to go his own way on his extravagant lunches but on the other hand I am particularly frugal.  This is because I am 100% Scottish and Le Chef is only half Scottish.

Wot we bought:

Wot we ate:

• OJ
• Cappuccino
• porridge
• black coffee (thanks work)
• free macchiato and free italian biscuit.  Thanks Boss!
• My lunch was a jamon (that’s Spanish for jam eh .. I mean ham), cheese and lettuce sandwich and three little tomatoes.  Are you noticing a certain pattern to breakfast and lunch?
• decaf coffee (thanks work)
• hot chococlate (thanks work)
• green tea
• water and lots of it
• that thing Le Chef made last night has morphed into something else.  There is some chorizo in there now that he found at the back of the fridge and there’s definitely more beans.  The taste is very good now.
• two polo mints pinched from Le Chef when he wasn’t looking.  I first learned to pinch my papa’s polos when I was only five.

Reflections on frugality

This having others pay for your food and drinks is a great lark. I wonder if I can get it to extend to a huge  plate of free sashimi and 2 free bottles of Asahi.   Free drinks can be hazardous and lead to over indulgence on caffeine.

The porridge problem has not been resolved.  Someone is going to get a smack.

It’s very late. Very, very late.  Or maybe it’s not late but very, very early.  All I know is that it is very, very something and it’s quite unpleasant.

But my nation has called upon me and I will tolerate the very, very and the quite unpleasant to assist in the presentation of all things Skotchish.  This may take me beyond the pale over the border, on the red eye to Lundyn but, for you my MaBroonLand, I will do this.  Just this once mind.  I expect recompense you know!  Payment in porridge will do.

NB this post was just an excuse to show off my slowly developing photoshop skills.

Dear HotBoy

You will be pleased to learn that I have taken the first step in flatheidedness reduction. Today I went to Tai Chi class (they run the class at lunchtime in the workplace). I thought Tai Chi would be easy. It’s bloody hard!

Stop doing THAT NOW! screamed my Achille’s Tendon.

No, no, NO! don’t bend like that yelled me knee.

and

Will you F**KING BREATHE! hollered my lungs, heart and brain.

How come those old Chinese ladies make it look so easy ? But never mind I have learned to do one complete move (of 30) quite badly and am looking forward to Striking the tiger’s ears next week. It’s quite fun really!

… sick.  No work for me today.  Just powerful painkillers and clutching of head and whimpering “It hurts“.  Even using the computer makes it hurt.  I am going away now to curl up and die.

friday eveningOriginally uploaded by seinberg.

Picture the scene … Le Chef is away consulting in Barcelona, it is evening time and he is exploiting the free internet connection in the hotel to do some work. He sends an email to Le Chef de le Chef and receives an immediate response back. Le Chef in turn replies promptly saying …

Ah Le Chef de Le Chef. You appear to be working late (from home) and online. Well, that’s me finished now I am off to the bar for a beer. Adios Le Chef

Le Chef de le Chef replies pronto

Yes Le Chef. I am online and on wine.

Isn’t that the best way to be ? Online on wine. It’s my new, new motto. I will have to adopt and practice my new motto at work tomorrow.

[wonders]
Can you Web2.0 on a Wallbanger ? Mashup on Mojitos ? vi on vodka (no … dinnae do vi on vodka it’s difficult enough doing vi auf wasser)
[/wonders]

… I was quite bad but it is an experiment. Given my profession it’s important to do stuff like this and see what happens. I wonder how long it will take til the wikipedia is rolled back or some smart physics bod sorts this or my conscience gets the better of me and I restore the universal balance.

The Before

The After

Last Sunday I returned home after two weeks away doing supremely important work business-type stuff in the States (i.e. shuffling round conferences and scorching my credit card). I scurried off the plane and zoomed home eager in anticipation of a home cooked meal from Le Chef. But … I was taken out, fed pasta and then abandoned to my own devices as Le Chef had to go do supremely important work business-type stuff in Lundun for two days. I had to survive the early part of the week on toast and apples

Fearful that I was going to fade away last night I decided I needed to carbo-load and availed myself of 4.5 pints of the finest ale Deuchar’s IPA and a plate of nachos with beans with my work teamies.

And then this morning, Le Chef goes and f**ks off again to allegedly do more worky type business, supremely important yadda-yadda in Athens and Barcelona. His parting shot was something about suntan lotion (business my arse). So now I am reduced to a diet of ginger cordial, sunflower seeds and coriander stalks.  Red Cross food parcels welcome.

It’s been more than 10 days since I last posted. I hate that wee blog monkey that sits on my shoulder whispering,”You haven’t posted in 14 days, is you life really so sad that you have nothing to say ?”

“Feck off blog monkey, it’s Scotland and it’s winter and it’s cold and windy and dark and I am not drinking so of course I’ve got nothing to say. My life is temporarily on hold while I wait for the sun to come out and the Frascati to arrive“.

You wouldn’t really be interested in my past week but for the sake of a pathetic blog post here it is:

• Monday: Went to work in the wind and rain fully clothed in Santa donated Goretex. Ate soup. Came home. Stared into space.
• Tuesday: Went to work in the wind and rain fully clothed in Santa donated Goretex. Ate soup. Came home. Stared into space.
• Wednesday: Went to work not in the wind nor the rain but still fully clothed in Santa donated Goretex. Ate cheese & tomato toasty. Came home. Stared at TV and occasionally Le Chef who wasn’t clothed in Goretex coz he fell out with Santa.
• Thursday: Went to work …. see how dull this is … you kinda get the idea … go somewhere in the weather wearing Goretex, eat a thing, come home, stare at something.
• Friday: I’ll let my reader fill in for Friday.
• Saturday: Stares at ipod nanos. Thinks about gin and tonics. Eats Polish doughnut from Polish bakery.
• Sunday: I can hardly wait!

Oh well, only 11 days til the Frascati arrives.