… first there was sunny weather, followed by a week of rain and a sudden bloom of fecking weeds on the veg patch. Outrageous! There is now one cubic metre of weeds in the compost bin.
If those weeds dare show their faces again I’ll be out with the flame thrower.
Ooooh – but I do have a greenhouse now. But there are even weeds in there. Grrrrr!
… sad lack of photos these days. Here are some Pisces …. 
Tsk Dolly, you may be genetically modified but you ain ‘t no fish
Last Sunday I returned home after two weeks away doing supremely important work business-type stuff in the States (i.e. shuffling round conferences and scorching my credit card). I scurried off the plane and zoomed home eager in anticipation of a home cooked meal from Le Chef. But … I was taken out, fed pasta and then abandoned to my own devices as Le Chef had to go do supremely important work business-type stuff in Lundun for two days. I had to survive the early part of the week on toast and apples 
Fearful that I was going to fade away last night I decided I needed to carbo-load and availed myself of 4.5 pints of the finest ale Deuchar’s IPA and a plate of nachos with beans with my work teamies.
And then this morning, Le Chef goes and f**ks off again to allegedly do more worky type business, supremely important yadda-yadda in Athens and Barcelona. His parting shot was something about suntan lotion (business my arse). So now I am reduced to a diet of ginger cordial, sunflower seeds and coriander stalks. Red Cross food parcels welcome.
… poor TSSL neglected as usual while its owner is off obsessing about other things. This past month I have mostly been:
He’s my new favourite author, he is so terribly funny and nasty. And he was short. And had a fetching line in hats. And documented, and no doubt enhanced everything anyone ever said to him, for example, one day when he was chatting to Marilyn Monroe and she called Queen Elizabeth the Second a cunt – which of course I thought was quite priceless. Hmmmm …. sorry about the c**t sweary word but we like to court controversy on TSSL and it also allows me to tag this post with sex which of course can only improve my Google rankings. And I did think it was funny and especially what she went on to say about Prince Philip & Errol Flynn.
by Andy Warho (“it’s Warhol actually” – yes thanks for that Mr Bowie, f-off now). I should explain about the stains ….. or maybe I should leave it to your imagination. Yes, your imagination is probably better, I’ll just say one word on the stains though …. oil and not of the petroleum type. If you are brave enough to ask me about the stains I can assure you that the explanation is less exciting the image you have just conjured up in your head.
As I recall we also saw some old falling down walls and the Pope’s hoose (but it was closed I can only assume he was out shopping for Prada loafers).
It’s been more than 10 days since I last posted. I hate that wee blog monkey that sits on my shoulder whispering,”You haven’t posted in 14 days, is you life really so sad that you have nothing to say ?”
“Feck off blog monkey, it’s Scotland and it’s winter and it’s cold and windy and dark and I am not drinking so of course I’ve got nothing to say. My life is temporarily on hold while I wait for the sun to come out and the Frascati to arrive“.
You wouldn’t really be interested in my past week but for the sake of a pathetic blog post here it is:
Oh well, only 11 days til the Frascati arrives.
Hankering (n) – a strong or persistent desire or craving. Possible etymology: Flemish
As in ….
Antonym: indifference, aversion
As in ….
And of course there is in urban phraseology hankering for a pankering which needs no explanation!
“What ?”
“No, that can’t be right ?”
“Oh, I guess they’re broken”
Was what I said when I stood on the scales at the gym tonight. So, in a pathetic attempt to get fit and lose the fat I:
My plan is to ditch the spare 4.5 kilos by the beginning of February. Just in time to go to Roma to stuff myself with pasta, pizza and vino tinto or whatever they call it in Italy! My diet is going well too ……. today it consisted of mostly tangerines, mint tea and toffees. Le Chef fed my salad for tea … lots of lettuce and carrots .. oh and fried potatoes, eh and boiled egg and jamon.
Hmmm let’s just try to lose 4.5 grammes then.
Warning: This is a “I love my MacBook” post
As you are aware I am strangely addicted to my new laptop. So addicted I haven’t thought of anything else but its lovely whiteness for the past two weeks. Lately, I have become fraught at bath time coz I lose valuable On MacBook time while soaking (when I have a bath I have to stay in it til all the bubbles have gone and the water is cold – so I am in there a loooongggg time and I’m sure the little Book feels neglected). However, I have just discovered that I can still use the MacBook while in the bath coz it’s got a remote control! Oh how cool is that ? So I had Madonna, Jimi Hendrix and ColdPlay in the bath tonight. Well … Madonna and Jimi were quite charming but I don’t think I want Chris Martin in my bath again.
To get all those folks in the bathroom I had to deploy significant amounts of gadgetry including:
Och … I dinnae play with the MacBook all the time. This Xmas I have also:
Le Chef, moi et Le Scottish Portugesie were in Croatia last week participating in the world squid eating championships … oh and a work conference thing. On the last day of the work conference thing we went on a cultural tour which was very interesting but a bit heavy on the church visitations and the speaking in Croatian (my Croatian only stretches to bok, pivo, ligne na zaru and hvala). To entertain myself in the churches I decided to search out all the lambs (and other animals) of God coz as you know sheeps are my most favourite animals after squids.
Mary had a litte lamb ….
Oh Jesus those are nasty scratches
Did you drop this ?
Lambless man but at least he has a plate on his head
This week it is Oxymoron
Le Chef used oxymoron the other day and I took it upon myself to adopt it as my word of the week and go in search of oxymorons (oxymora?). And lo I found a fab photographic oxy on my way home from work today …..
I got off to a rather bad start this morning and the rude c-word temporarily replaced oxymoron as WotW.
