Last Sunday I returned home after two weeks away doing supremely important work business-type stuff in the States (i.e. shuffling round conferences and scorching my credit card). I scurried off the plane and zoomed home eager in anticipation of a home cooked meal from Le Chef. But … I was taken out, fed pasta and then abandoned to my own devices as Le Chef had to go do supremely important work business-type stuff in Lundun for two days. I had to survive the early part of the week on toast and apples 
Fearful that I was going to fade away last night I decided I needed to carbo-load and availed myself of 4.5 pints of the finest ale Deuchar’s IPA and a plate of nachos with beans with my work teamies.
And then this morning, Le Chef goes and f**ks off again to allegedly do more worky type business, supremely important yadda-yadda in Athens and Barcelona. His parting shot was something about suntan lotion (business my arse). So now I am reduced to a diet of ginger cordial, sunflower seeds and coriander stalks. Red Cross food parcels welcome.