The Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form doesn’t have an entry for libraries or librarians. I have made one that can define both terms. Should I submit it for consideration ?
In libr’ries there’s lots of stuff
there’s some books, and some mags and some fluff
librarians who shout
and then throw you out
if you visit whilst eatin’ a cream puff
Not so much a world of the week but an entire dictionary of words for the week. It is the The Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form (OEDILF). Hurrah for the daft people of the internet, we bow to their Omnificence (even though they don’t have a limerick for omnificence and as a result I don’t know what it means but I’m sure omnificent things need bowing at and a certain level of grovelling on the floor to show a lack of worthiness ?)
My favouritest ones are for that fine Scottish word ach and of course the Apple computer (I promise I won’t mention the A word again for a while – well at least until my next post).
It’s been more than 10 days since I last posted. I hate that wee blog monkey that sits on my shoulder whispering,”You haven’t posted in 14 days, is you life really so sad that you have nothing to say ?”
“Feck off blog monkey, it’s Scotland and it’s winter and it’s cold and windy and dark and I am not drinking so of course I’ve got nothing to say. My life is temporarily on hold while I wait for the sun to come out and the Frascati to arrive“.
You wouldn’t really be interested in my past week but for the sake of a pathetic blog post here it is:
Oh well, only 11 days til the Frascati arrives.
I was reading the paper today and there was an article in it about Scottish Prime Ministers. Apparently there have been 7 Scottish Prime Ministers in the past and Gordon Brown will make it 8. So, I was looking at all these Prime Ministers and thought … but there’s one missing.
Oi! Le Chef! I said, interrupting his ongoing destruction of Medieval Europe, Isn’t Tony Blair Scottish ?
Don’t be so stupid (he says this often to me) He was educated in Scotland. He’s not Scottish.
Aye, I know he was educated at that scary looking school. But I’m sure he’s Scottish.
So I go to look at font of all knowledge wikipedia and there it says,
Tony Blair was born at the Queen Mary Maternity Home in Edinburgh, Scotland.
Eh … born in Scotland ? I thought that made you Scottish ? Even if you just visit Scotland for an afternoon, that makes you Scottish. Oi Tony! You Scottish denier! (And that’s denier as in It wisnae me not denier as in Oh my, your silk stockings are very sheer. What denier are they ?)
Why would a man born in Scotland, lived in Scotland for nearly two years, then educated in a Scottish high school pretend to be Engerlish ? Discuss. Bring on Mr Brown, a proper Scotty.
Hankering (n) – a strong or persistent desire or craving. Possible etymology: Flemish
As in ….
Antonym: indifference, aversion
As in ….
And of course there is in urban phraseology hankering for a pankering which needs no explanation!
“What ?”
“No, that can’t be right ?”
“Oh, I guess they’re broken”
Was what I said when I stood on the scales at the gym tonight. So, in a pathetic attempt to get fit and lose the fat I:
My plan is to ditch the spare 4.5 kilos by the beginning of February. Just in time to go to Roma to stuff myself with pasta, pizza and vino tinto or whatever they call it in Italy! My diet is going well too ……. today it consisted of mostly tangerines, mint tea and toffees. Le Chef fed my salad for tea … lots of lettuce and carrots .. oh and fried potatoes, eh and boiled egg and jamon.
Hmmm let’s just try to lose 4.5 grammes then.
All together now …..
“Weeeee aaaaarrrre … off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz
We hear he is a wiz of a Wiz if ever a wiz there was
If ever a wonderful Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because
because because because because becaaauuuuse
because of the wonderful things he does
ta-da ta-da-da ta-tum
We’re off to see the Wizard, The WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OOOOOZZZZ!!”
Just in case you are in doubt. We (me, Imelda, Mr Imelda, Gussie, Roderick and Toto) are off to see the wonderful Wizard of Oz at the Filmhouse. Tis the best film in the world after ….. Some like it hot, Goodfellas, 2001, The Big Lebowski etc etc
This year my rezolyooshuns are:
And your rezolyooshuns are ?
